Putting habits into place

It's not the strongest of the species that survives, or even the most intelligent. It's the one that is most adaptable to change. - Charles Darwin

So, how does this statement, which is closest to the attributed idea of "survival of the fittest," resonate with you? I don't have to be winning from all angles? I may falter and I may fail. I just have to be...flexible? I can do this! Or, can I? YES, YOU CAN!

When we think about changing habits, we use terms like "quit cold turkey," "dry January," "hard stop," "pull the plug," and so on. It's all or nothing, it's black and white. While it may seem admirable to abruptly walk away and not look back longingly, reality shows us that we humans need time and strategies to eliminate harmful, no longer useful or just plain annoying habits and create new beneficial, positive and achievable ones.

So, HOW?!

Charles Duhigg, author of The Power of Habit, shares that we establish habits with cues or triggers that create patterns or routines that lead to rewards. We might fall into less than helpful habits accidentally. For example, I may feel sluggish and bored working at my desk, so I get up to move around to get my heart pumping, but if the behavior is rewarded in some way - taking a break from my work and going into the kitchen - Oh, look, there are some tasty brownies on the counter! - we tend to repeat it because it is reinforced. I am "rewarded" for my meandering by foraging and consuming. Hmmm, okay.

Now, let's undo this not-so-helpful habit. This will take some time, persistence, flexibility, discipline and, yes, forgiveness.

Redo: Working, boredom, stepping away from my desk - good so far. I will consider some other more beneficial options besides scarfing down tasty morsels: stepping outside and taking some deep refreshing breaths of "different air" or meditating using a mindfulness app, or sending a text to my spouse asking for date night ideas. Sounds easy, right? Maybe, depending on how ingrained your habit is. It will likely take multiple repetitions to weaken the original trigger or cue for your previous behavior.

If you slip up, will you give up? Of course not! Give yourself some grace, hit reset and try again. Reshaping your behavior takes time and multiple trials to stick.